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Casino Spiele

My Tw|t Garden
Saturday, October 30, 2010

I sent this complain to them. Because they failed to do service recovery stat:

To whom it may concern

My husband and I went to one of your Sake Sushi outlet at Novena Square 2 this afternoon at around 1300hr.

We ordered a few red plates and some colored plates. Two colored plates of unagi sushi first came, and to my husband's horror, he tasted a bad sourish taste the moment the sushi was put in his mouth!

We immediately smelt sour smell when we put the rest of the sushi near our noses to check for bad food.

We called for help; twice but no one came. One waitress came only because she had wanted to serve us some more sushi we'd ordered.

My husband complained to her about the soured unagi sushi and she took them away, both the untouched ones and the ones that my husband spat out. I have to mention that the rest of the time spent at the restaurant was excruciating!

Firstly we kept wondering if our sashimi was fresh and germ-free. I am currently pregnant and fornyour information: bad food means diarrhea and threatened miscarriage! Then my husband didn't enjoy his food because of the bad sour taste in his mouth that wouldn't go away even after he spat the soured sushi out. Thirdly, we asked for a replacement unagi sushi three times! It didn't come.

Quite frustrated, we asked to settle the bill without waiting further. I'd assume your branch manager to be customer-savvy and settle our terrible experience with tact, instead, when asked what email address to send to complain about food quality, she happily pointed out that the address could be found in the membership card brochure. Is she very happy to receive a complaint? Or is she just glad we didn't kick up a big fuss right in front of all other customers?

I presume all customers would be appalled by the type of food you serve there and refuse to patronize it anymore if they'd knew you serve expired, sour, smelly, unfresh food. And to think you pride yourself in maintaining standards and hygiene in your advertisements all over!

I'm very disappointed to have encouraged my husband to recently sign up for membership at Sake Sushi, because unless you give us a proper explanation as to why expired food was served to us, I'll make sure we will never patronize your restaurants ever again. And we will also make certain the public knows about it. This is for their safety.

Thank you for your time.

Samantha Teo
Horrified and disgruntled customer

Sent from my iPhone

See. If you had only be humble enough to apologize and recover our lost faith, I'd never had done this to you.

Friday, October 29, 2010

I'm writing a book.

I've started.

I'm surprised at how easy it came to me.

No need for hours of pondering over what topic would interest people.

No need to worry about not having time to write.

Time is managed by human.

And I make sure I spend every possible time writing a short paragraph at least.

Even in the toilet.

Think I'm gonna spend less time blogging here...

This book is so going to be awesome.

I realised I can do so many things after I left my previous employer.

What I meant was that anything is possible.

I always worried about getting sponsors and publishers to launch my book.

Now I think these are all possible.

I just have to meet the right person.

Coming out; striking it big on my own without strong institution backing - well, it opened a whole new world of possibilities.

Things I had to struggle to learn, adapt, improve.

Skills I never knew I had.

Yet this pregnancy is really tiring me.

That book I'm reading now...

It really inspired me.

I can't believe how accurate and amazing the writer is.

I wonder if I could amaze and inspire people likewise.

If I hadn't had that terrible bout of flu on the day of my interview...

I would've become a very successful journalist or writer already.

It had been my dream. Somehow stupidity led me into nursing.

That I of course; also love.

It's just... different.

I would have led a different life if I had ventured towards my first goal.

I would've met different people, married a different man.

Still, these are all my what ifs'.

I've accepted what is given to me, and decided to make full use of what I can do.

No procrastination, no regrets allowed.

At least I can proudly say that I've tried.

I'm writing a book...

and I'm proud of myself.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Been painting this nice picture in my mind:

Our three beautiful children playing together in the spacious living room of our beautiful new house... lots of sunshine and laughter in the background... Chris and I sitting comfortably on the sofa, holding hands and laughing at a joke that he just made.

Positive vibes.

It made me happy for two days. And its still doing its magic.

I've been reading this book about THOUGHTS.

How thinking about things alone could make miracles - or rather; stuffs that you wish about, happen.

Of course you need concentration. Full concentration. No careless mistakes allowed.

I've been thinking good thoughts.

Thoughts that would make me happy.

It seems to be working really well.

Better than Prozac.

I told you I could help myself.

I'm not gonna sit and wait for my sanity to rot.


If anyone out there reading this is facing similar issues...

I urge you to do the same. Help yourself. No one else could.

On a darker note...

I had a weird dream last night.

I dreamt that some other guy was in love with me... and I seem to be reciprocating his feelings.

To sum up the long, romantic dream...

I had this very vivid and real emotion that made me wake up with tears in my eyes.

That of GUILT.

The terrible feeling of falling in love with someone you shouldn't, and yet refusing to let go of the other one you are bound to.

I told Chris about the dream.

He says I never tell him about my dreams; why this?

I told him... that for that fraction of my life... I got to feel exactly how he felt when he was with you-know-who.

Oh gosh the feeling was terrible.

So in love; yet so sad. I couldn't be truly happy with the other man... because the guilt was eating me up.

I didn't tell Chris (most likely it's my ego at work), but I'm darn sure I'll never let this happen in reality.

The guilt alone would be enough to put a stop to silly mistakes like such.

Though I had to admit - it was a nice dream. That guy was really nice... handsome, self-sacrificing, romantic, protective... I could go on forever.

I already have a man like this. I just had to help bring out the best in him.

I'm thinking about that picture of a happy family again.

I'm glad I bought that book.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

As dark as the world may look, light would eventually break through.

We may fall victim to many things; we should not look back.

Ahead of us, there are so many more challenges awaiting us, mountains to climb, love to conquer.

From history, we learn not to repeat the same silly mistakes.

From tragedies, we learn that scars are indeed bearable if you acknowledge they're permanent.

From love lost, we learn that sometimes, it's better to let go than hang on to people who didn't think you mattered anymore.

Infidelity is more rampant than we all think it is.

So many people fall victim, fall prey, and fall head over heels to it.

Just a mental note; that I'm not alone. And girls, you are not too.

The bitches WILL die of cervical cancers, the penises WILL shrivel to bits eventually.

YOUR life is what matters most.

Get out if there is no more hope; hang on if he still cares.

I'm not just lucky. He worked hard.

If yours didn't, so what?

Life goes on, there are plenty of other love waiting for you to embrace them.

You know there are, you just have to believe yourself.

I'm not the only strong one. You are too, you just haven't realized it.

Good luck, and may you eventually find love, rekindled or new - doesn't really matter.


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Spent most of last night staring at the darkened ceiling.

I'm surprised my eyes aren't swollen this morning.

It's times like this that I feel exceptionally vulnerable, lonely and useless.

Yet it's also times like this that everyone seems to back away.

I need a break.

Otherwise I'll be the one to break.

Walking round the neighborhood didn't help. It made me tired yes; but sleep didn't find me.

Instead... I found two coins on the dusty, abandoned road.

I saved them, cleaned them up and now they're reborned.

I must be out of my mind.

It's just a couple of coins.

Since I'm done with digressions... I'd better write some concrete stuff.

I've got some major antenatal depression going on; self diagnosed.

I knew I'm never gonna have it easy for life the day sanity left me.

Pregnancy - it's the killer.

It's just amazing how I'm still able to perform at work.

It's like I have a split personality or something.

All else is a mess.

I should really consider ligation after Isabelle is born.

No more accidents.

I can't afford it.

Or rather... my sanity couldn't.

Sometimes I wonder if people really need medication to treat the ill mind.

I had somehow reckoned that its really all about control.

And time.

Certain times are simply out of control, and others... they managed.

Am I writing sense?

Sometimes when I get these bouts of insanity I write nonsense; I know because I review my past entries. Frequently.

Reviewing them helps me learn from past mistakes and I grow wiser.

Thus I KNOW for a fact that, this will all come to pass.

And I'll be happily in love once again.

Nope, didn't have high hopes that he would cope better this time round.

He can never cope with bad stuffs; especially with my mental state.

I'm just glad he's still holding my hand.

Others would've left long ago.

So this is once again, my own battle.

Me and me alone.

Gosh, it is dark in here.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I'm sorry I'm starting to get paranoid again.

It's definitely the antenatal blues.

All the images I'd conjured up in my mind. I know they're all fake.

I know for a fact that you are as devoted to me as Mr LKY is to his wife.

I know.

It doesn't mean the menace doesn't get to me.

I don't wanna say... because I don't wanna bring old memories back.

And I feel bad.

Because it's terribly unfair.

And there is really a limit as to how much TLC you can give.

You do have a limit you know that right?

I'm just glad that whatever you lacked... Isaac gave it to me.

He's the one who constantly looks at me be it whether he's playing with his toys or watching the Korean drama with me.

He knows when I'm feeling sad and teary-eyed.

He gently massages my back when I'm feeling sick and he strokes my hand when I tell him I'm sad.

But I think its all too much for a four-year-old.

He is taking too much emotions in his own hand.

He's my favorite.

Darling... other than the constant chattering... he really beats you hands down.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

My heart is aching so bad...

I just realized something... Something that dawned on me after almost ten years...

Something I must keep to myself no matter what.

I'm so devastated.

To allow myself to continue in disillusionment.

For so so long.

Damn, my heart is really ACHING badly.

The last I felt this way was...

Never mind.

I'm fine with what I have despite the ache.

I'm telling myself that it all may not be worth it in the end, but I've led a life answerable to God.

I try so hard at everything I do. I make sure I deliver the best if not the most excellent.

I dabble not in betrayal, deceit, revenge nor all other morality vices.

My moral values are the ones I treasure the most.

Yet I've indulged in hitting myself with all these vices.

I must be a fool.

Yes. A fool.

Right now, lying alone on this dreaded bed in the dark, I face the demon alone.

The aching heart doesn't help the situation at all.

But I'm comforted.

That all these would come to pass, as I begin my life without disillusions.

Reality sucks; I know. But at least it's real.

To have and to hold someone by my side is real.

Everything else...

Is history.

I always deliver what I promise.

And I promise myself that I'll do everything I can...

To get myself out of this mental mess.

Time for bed. I need a dreamless night. Please. Dreamless.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I'm deteriorating. I know it.

I'm receding into the dark side... And watching heartlessly as my sanity vanish into the darkness.

It's the same old story every time. I regress, he cannot cope, I react, he backs away.

This time, there's something new.

I don't react anymore.

At least not in visual mode.

I can feel all the agony filling up within like a helium balloon.

And I'm on the verge of explosion.

I'm so tired.

Does anyone even wanna try understanding what I'm going through?

Guess not. No point anyway.

I'm so sick of life.

Sick of living.

The facade I'm portraying...

I'm sick of it.

I should just show everyone who I truly am...

A pathetic weakling.

No longer wish to please anyone.

I'm just gonna mind my own business and wait for death to overcome life.

This is really getting nowhere.

I don't even wanna write about how I feel anymore, let alone tell anyone.

I just wish the nightmares had never returned.

I hate not being able to sleep in peace.

I'm so tired.

So weary.

So alone.



Sunday, October 10, 2010

Have I given up?

I'm so messed up.

There is no way I can close one eye and think that everything that I have now is a bed of roses.

I feel lost. Empty. Devoid of something I can't remember what.

Something I think is so essential for my sanity and sense of self worth.

Something I'd forgotten...

Something important.

Something... precious.


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Watching Bangyong trembling and crrying while begging her husband to tell her everything is alright... makes me shudder.

I'm talking about the 7pm Korean tv serial on channel U.

I shudder because I was her. I had been her.

It was so painful to watch, yet I felt a wee bit consoled that my time was over.

It was so painful... I started having multiple flashbacks; some real, some imagined.

I can never avoid such shows. They are every where. In every tv show.

But as the years go by... I cope better.

I'm ashamed to say that I haven't really let go. Because I've yet to learn to forgive that woman.

One girl once told me, she doesn't hate her marriage-crasher, but she couldn't forgive her either.

I suppose I couldn't do both. Negative.

With the coming of our third child... I reckon we'd move on to greater heights in our marriage.

With this new height, I really hope I'd be enlightened to learn forgiveness.

Together with him, I hope we can both learn to be better spouses, better parents, better persons.

P/s: this entry is totally different from what had been accidentally deleted. But well, it's a different perspective of a different situation at a different time. Cheers anyway!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I'm asking for too much. That's why.

It's not all that bad and hopeless.

Just less than the ideal in my dream.

What's in a dream anyway?

It's all nothing but castles in the air.

I've no energy to make love happen.

He doesn't make the first move ever.

It's just gonna fade away. Like the withered roses on my vase.

No sunlight, no water to nourish and make it bloom. Unresurrected, it's bound to break apart one day.

I'm too tired to make magic. I can't even sleep enough. Perhaps to him, it's just laziness.

When would he ever pick up a book to read about what I'm going through?

Guess he'd rather be at his mafia war games.

Or the camera.

I see no hope.

Maybe it's clouded by my blues.

Blues that no one is willing to lift for me.

Friday, October 1, 2010

I have no idea why...

Why people do the things they do.

I've always assumed it's pregnant women's prerogative to request for the most absurd and yet manage to get them.

I don't ask for the most absurd.

Just some ridiculous pining for certain food and super tender loving care without questions asked.

Maybe the characters on television are too fake for real life. How those self sacrificial spouses who go all the way to give and provide.

Are your husbands like that when you were pregnant?

Or you have partners who sigh out loud and make faces when you ask to eat some weird food day in and out?

Do you have partners who think you are the most ridiculous pregnant woman in the world; one who cries almost every day?

I doubt my self worth everyday.

So much so that I've forgotten how important I had been once in the life of my own. The grandeur I've felt about myself seems like something that happened in my past life.

I know that happiness is a choice. And so are many things in life.

We make the wrong move; mourn over it a little while, and move on.

The only reason why I'm always stuck in the rut... I could never understand why.

Sometimes I really wished I could start over.

On a clean slate.

This time I'll never have let my mental state get this bad.

I'd have created a different history altogether.

One where I'd still feel important in my own way; if not a special someone.

One where I'd never hear snide remarks almost every other day... And yet being told that I'm too sensitive and imagining things.

Maybe I really am.

Imagining things.

Maybe I just have to wake up from my imagination and smell the dead rats.

There's no coffee.

There's just a stack of shit waiting.