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Casino Spiele

My Tw|t Garden
Monday, April 16, 2012

I don't know where to begin.

This nagging feeling that I should never have stayed.

It's eating me.

It's as if I've brought harm to my own children. And to myself.

This would never change. Don't ask. I just knew.

I'm now in this state of absence and I'm trying real hard to come to terms with it so I can come up with a contingency; a solution to my permanent problem.

I am usually quite good at that.

Now I'm just totally dysfunctional.

The only thing I'm good at now; is gorging myself silly.

I'm so gonna balloon up in two weeks time.

The carbo alone is enough to kill an elephant. SIGH!

I can never talk sense into it.

I could never step away from it.

I couldn't even bring myself to forgive as I've always did.

Because I just chillingly know... That if I tolerate this any further, I'm gonna bring death one day. Death to either me or the kids.

Or worse. The horror of this kind of life re-enacting in their future lives is enough to freak me out.

What should I do?

I'm so tired.

It's like I'm in this alone.

Who can I tell?

What should I do?

How should I do it?

Who can I trust?

I'm so so tired....