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My Tw|t Garden
Monday, April 16, 2012

I don't know where to begin.



This nagging feeling that I should never have stayed.




It's eating me.




It's as if I've brought harm to my own children. And to myself.




This would never change. Don't ask. I just knew.




I'm now in this state of absence and I'm trying real hard to come to terms with it so I can come up with a contingency; a solution to my permanent problem.




I am usually quite good at that.




Now I'm just totally dysfunctional.




The only thing I'm good at now; is gorging myself silly.




I'm so gonna balloon up in two weeks time.




The carbo alone is enough to kill an elephant. SIGH!




I can never talk sense into it.




I could never step away from it.




I couldn't even bring myself to forgive as I've always did.




Because I just chillingly know... That if I tolerate this any further, I'm gonna bring death one day. Death to either me or the kids.




Or worse. The horror of this kind of life re-enacting in their future lives is enough to freak me out.




What should I do?




I'm so tired.




It's like I'm in this alone.




Who can I tell?




What should I do?




How should I do it?




Who can I trust?




I'm so so tired....