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Monday, November 21, 2011
Waiting patiently for my beloved to return home from work. It's been a long day for him.
People don't realized, that he doesn't just start and stop work at the appointed time... He works almost 20 hours a day; starting from 6.30am every morning - rain or shine. He sends the kids to school, irregardless of his shift, he loiters outside if he is on afternoon/night shifts, he rushes to work after dropping me AT work, he buys groceries when it's his off day. He is working all the time, just so I can work less at home and concentrate more AT work. Soon, he'd be relinquished of all these. Soon he'll be the one concentrating ON working and leaving the household mundanes to me. And that is when I'll give him all of me to make him the most blissful man on earth. It's no wonder he gets tired and sick so often nowadays; he does SO much. I had never seriously really thought about it until now. This is something I've gotta do. For him, for me, for us, for the kids. And I'm looking forward to the day where his ear digging, nails cutting, home facial days are back - courtesy of his beloved me. I'm never a keen career woman; made so but never wished so. I'm a home body. A pillar of a successful man I've always wished to be. Sigh. Really missed the good old days where I never will doze at the opportunity of a good five seconds of stoning. Perhaps it's old age, the three kids, or simply work; I never could keep my eyes open long enough to trim his nails... And I missed the weekly dates we always found time for... Christmas is coming. I wish for a better year ahead. With him. Sans his green monster alter ego.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
There are times when you realized that nothing in this world is forever.
Everything has it's transient state; be it a relationship, the items you own. Friends come and go, people change their partners like an everyday affair... I've told myself that I know this for a fact yet sometimes, I feel baffled by my lack of ability to sustain any form of relationship. No man is an island; yet, who needs an island to survive? Perhaps it's me. Perhaps it's the type of people I've met since young who had carved out the kinda person I've becomed. I'm skeptical, I'm critical, I'm wary and scary. No one likes this kinda person. No one. I'm fine with that. I guess it's really very hard to live with myself, lest another human being. At the end of the day, I ask myself what is it that matters to me the most... Family? I could sacrifice everything for them, at the end of the day, I know I may not be guaranteed the kinda loyalty I expect. Yet if you ask me; I think this is much more appropriate than laying your life down for a friend. My two cents worth. Stay away from me, really. I don't deserve anyone. |