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Thursday, June 28, 2012
Belle is in my arms again. Heavily asleep.
My arms are aching. Lots.
Why do I not let go of the burden that causes me such pain?
Because I know; that if I do, she'd hurt herself. And she is just as helpless as I am.
Being with Belle this one week has taught me many.
Why people love they way they do, why mothers never see their sacrifices as, well, sacrifices.
I don't even think about the future where my kids are expected to return all the love I showered on them.
Not less now, never I think.
Because I'm a willing party.
I have a responsibility to provide, irregardless.
I just wish sometimes, that someone would say that to me.
That he'd provided for me, shelter me during a thunder storm, be my hero and save me when I'm in trouble.
Yes I can managed to save my own ass time and again, that doesn't mean I don't dream of someone doing that for me.
It's a curse to be wise.
Especially when you purposely put it on display.
This part, I've failed miserably.
Where did my wisdom go?
Damn.
Upset.
Max.
My arms are aching. Lots.
Why do I not let go of the burden that causes me such pain?
Because I know; that if I do, she'd hurt herself. And she is just as helpless as I am.
Being with Belle this one week has taught me many.
Why people love they way they do, why mothers never see their sacrifices as, well, sacrifices.
I don't even think about the future where my kids are expected to return all the love I showered on them.
Not less now, never I think.
Because I'm a willing party.
I have a responsibility to provide, irregardless.
I just wish sometimes, that someone would say that to me.
That he'd provided for me, shelter me during a thunder storm, be my hero and save me when I'm in trouble.
Yes I can managed to save my own ass time and again, that doesn't mean I don't dream of someone doing that for me.
It's a curse to be wise.
Especially when you purposely put it on display.
This part, I've failed miserably.
Where did my wisdom go?
Damn.
Upset.
Max.