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Saturday, July 2, 2011
No I'm not okay.
I've realized that perhaps I'll never be.
No it's not okay to have people do bad things to you and yet they appear to be the victims.
It's not okay to be given a life sentence of fluctuating sanity while the sinners enjoy every second of their lives.
It's not okay because you've never been in my shoes and you'll never understand.
It doesn't matter to you does it?
Because you get to start a clean slate. Move on with your freaking life.
As if it has never happened.
Try telling a dead person to freaking do that.
You'd probably be met with a cold rigor-mortified stare.
That's me.
I have a new life, yes. But it doesn't mean what's been done to me didn't happen.
It's all too easy for you. Too easy.
You get to frolic with what's supposed to be mine while I suffer loneliness, self doubt and responsibilities of raising a kid.
And when you're done with him you toss him aside, thinking (suddenly) that your relationship would jeopardize your freaking life and career.
Then you went on with your freaking pretty life as though you've never wreak havoc in someone else's marriage and remain blissfully a saint.
.... when all the while, I'm struggling with medication, healing, fighting insanity, building love out of distrust.
I know life's never fair.
But I detest how the beds of roses are tilted to your side of the world.
I still believe in Karma.
It just hasn't reached you yet.
I've realized that perhaps I'll never be.
No it's not okay to have people do bad things to you and yet they appear to be the victims.
It's not okay to be given a life sentence of fluctuating sanity while the sinners enjoy every second of their lives.
It's not okay because you've never been in my shoes and you'll never understand.
It doesn't matter to you does it?
Because you get to start a clean slate. Move on with your freaking life.
As if it has never happened.
Try telling a dead person to freaking do that.
You'd probably be met with a cold rigor-mortified stare.
That's me.
I have a new life, yes. But it doesn't mean what's been done to me didn't happen.
It's all too easy for you. Too easy.
You get to frolic with what's supposed to be mine while I suffer loneliness, self doubt and responsibilities of raising a kid.
And when you're done with him you toss him aside, thinking (suddenly) that your relationship would jeopardize your freaking life and career.
Then you went on with your freaking pretty life as though you've never wreak havoc in someone else's marriage and remain blissfully a saint.
.... when all the while, I'm struggling with medication, healing, fighting insanity, building love out of distrust.
I know life's never fair.
But I detest how the beds of roses are tilted to your side of the world.
I still believe in Karma.
It just hasn't reached you yet.