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Monday, June 13, 2011
The past few days were horrendous. I've managed to sink deep into abyss and lost my way there.
I'm glad it's all over now. The feeling was terrible.
I was back to crying fits and compulsively eating nonsense; something really foreign to me for at least half a year now.
I wonder if his temper had anything to do with it... yet I know for a fact that on my good days, his worst temper wouldn't even make me flinch.
It was just sheer luck that no one had to see the worst side of me since it only came out in the night; where everyone's sleeping - I'm mostly functional in the day.
On hindsight, it's really awful to be acting like that every single minute when I was still hurting. I could almost imagine the guilt and pain I'd instill in him; having to see me in that crazed state.
We've come a long way... and I'm proud of us.
If she is to be crowned the catalyst of our love, then so be it; I'm resigned to the fact that I may never live to see her bitter demise.
See, I still believe that she'd suffer a fate worse than death itself - since karma has a way of finding it's perpetrators.
I just don't think I'll be nearby to see it.
:)
I'm glad it's all over now. The feeling was terrible.
I was back to crying fits and compulsively eating nonsense; something really foreign to me for at least half a year now.
I wonder if his temper had anything to do with it... yet I know for a fact that on my good days, his worst temper wouldn't even make me flinch.
It was just sheer luck that no one had to see the worst side of me since it only came out in the night; where everyone's sleeping - I'm mostly functional in the day.
On hindsight, it's really awful to be acting like that every single minute when I was still hurting. I could almost imagine the guilt and pain I'd instill in him; having to see me in that crazed state.
We've come a long way... and I'm proud of us.
If she is to be crowned the catalyst of our love, then so be it; I'm resigned to the fact that I may never live to see her bitter demise.
See, I still believe that she'd suffer a fate worse than death itself - since karma has a way of finding it's perpetrators.
I just don't think I'll be nearby to see it.
:)