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My Tw|t Garden
Sunday, May 29, 2011

I broke down crying in front of the poor boy just now.




I was really at the bottle neck already.




I didn't know what else I could do to make my poor boy sleep well again.




Isaac has been having night screaming episodes since three weeks ago.




At first I attributed it to his seeking of attention and demanded that he stop telling me about being afraid.




Then I realized he was really frightened every time he says so thus I decided to investigate the "nightmare" he's so frightened of.




He told me that there's this wolf in his dream that told lies. And when the monster in the sky found out, he was so angry that "everything break". His everything includes bridges, buildings - it's practically an apocalypse.




He said that he was not afraid of the wolf.




He was extremely terrified of the monster in the sky and the part where "everything breaks".




I tried to interpret his dream, I Geordies the wolf was him, and he was afraid of being found out about telling lies cos it meant that the world will come to an end when the monster finds out.




The monster could be his daddy, me, or anyone of his teachers in school, I'm not sure.




No matter how much I try, he is still frightened even though he tells me that he knows the dream is not real.




I am already weeks into my sleepless nights. With Isabelle feeding two to three hourly, and Isaac's night wake almost every hour until dawn, not to mention Ian's crying for no reason other than the suspicion that he's breathless due to wheezing...




I'm already feeling myself going downhill in the sanity sector of my brain.




Chris does help, but there's only this much he could do - he still needs his sleep so he could go to work alert.




No one says that parenthood is easy.




No one told me that it'll be THIS tough either!




I need to find a way to solve Isaac's psychological trauma.




Every night he reminds me of how much he went through with me when he was a baby.




And how much I owed him.




But I'm really clueless...




How do I get him out of the psychological pain?




How?




Sigh.