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Casino Spiele

My Tw|t Garden
Friday, December 31, 2010

Last blog entry of the year.

I wonder what it's like to be writing in the form of metaphors.

Maybe I should start trying.

Haven't been myself since i saw her yesterday.

I had refused to sleep on my bed last night, getting angry and upset for no reason except to be made to be left alone.

The trauma continued into my dreamland, where horrible things happened.

Somehow this time, however bad the above may sound, it seemed much more serene than the last few times I met her.

Afterall, it's been three years since I found out. I've gotta improve somehow!

I read somewhere, a man(or woman) wrote:

The person who has hurt inflicted upon thyself would eventually forget; the one who inflicts the hurt would remember forever.

I don't understand why.

Why is it that she seems to be leading her life as if she has never intruded mine; yet I continue to struggle?

I've thought about it last night, and I found the answer today.

She has it easy because she doesn't have a conscience.

Her morality tells her that she is not in the wrong, and that it was my husband who'd hurt her.

This kind of person; I do not call a normal being.

This kind of person; I call a "self-proclaimed-high-and-righteous-above-all-else" being.

Her sense of morality must be grossly distorted. I pity her.

While I'm working hard at grieving and forgiving, I made sure I don't fail to remember that she may have had a super sad childhood lacking in people showing her what moral values are.

She is a pitiful sight.

That pretty faced darling walking alone on the street with an evil past not worth mentioning.

I decided to feel better and leave her there on the street.

I've been walking with her the whole of last night and today... When I should've left her there alone.


My last entry for the year, and it's all about her.

Maybe next year, she wouldn't be in my entries or mind any longer.

But then again, next year is only one night away...

Happy new year everyone, may you be blessed with true love and a happy, blessed life ahead!