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Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I am starting to believe that I was right all along. That there is no way of getting there... Where I wish to be.
Pardon me for my pessimism, but given the kind of circumstances; anyone would think likewise. I have just gotta make do with my pathetic offer of a good life and trudge on. Alone or not. I shall be happy when there are good days, and pretend that I live alone on bad ones. Bear no grudges; God would not want that of me. How I'm being treated is the result of my own doings. Ask for nothing. No favors no love no air to breathe. Be happy if there is; sulk not when there isn't. The worst that could happen? Death. And it'll only bring me closer to the One I really seek. I'm not going to let other people's mood affect mine. Yes, our lives may be intertwined, but I deserve to feel positive. This is not despair. It's not really giving up. It's putting my life in the hands of the One I know will never intentionally cause mr trauma. The One I believe is trying to teach me life's lessons of the vice, the pain and sufferings. I think no more. No reason to ask if anyone is upset with me. Because if they are, it's their problem and their problem alone. Because like it or not, God has made me this way... The only person I want to please this very moment is You. Because only You appreciate my life as it is, flaws and all. Why do I have a feeling that this year's birthday would be as sad and lousy as the previous ones? It's simply a constant reminder that the day I was born marked the day I was destined to suffer. But I really feel otherwise. I know somehow, somewhere, I've fulfilled part of my purpose in life... Somehow, somewhere, I've inspired and taught some people what true strength means. True strength doesn't mean brute force or mental battles... True strength is the ability to surrender. The white flag is up. Can you see that? |