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Casino Spiele

My Tw|t Garden
Thursday, July 22, 2010

This is just so depressing. We have different ways of teaching our children; which couple doesn't?

But I'm quite certain no one gets all worked up and angry over nothing like being asked to give the poor son a little more "genuine" attention .

And I was the one being questioned if I had given 100% attention to him....

So lame.

Then we had to endure the high speed highway saga all the way home, followed by silent treatment (only to me I guess) the rest of the evening.

If he doesn't wanna hold your hands, you just give up?

Only goes to show how much you really care and bother.

The poor boy'll never get any justice done to his pathetic childhood. Because there won't ever be a repeat. All you're interested in is not missing ian's childhood. How about starting to really bother about isaac's life and not leaving him to me just because he prefers me?

The only reason why he does so is you were never a part of his childhood. And please... Everytime you talk rudely to him and make obvious preference to Ian over him simply makes me even more sure that Isaac will never grow out of his depressive and violent state he's in right now.

Guess I'm wrong again. Whatever I did to trigger your anger this evening.

I've no clue except that I'm totally wrong again.

When am I ever going to build up my self esteem???

At this rate where everything I do seems to be wrong... I'd bet on my miserable life that I'm never ever ever going to recover.

So here I am. Sitting in a cold miserable corner in my neighborhood... Writing on my little iPhone... Thinking of death as an escape again.

It's getting alarmingly frequent these days. And no, thinking about it doesn't mean I'd actually do it. Unless...

Well technically I won't. Since I'm writing about it... Just that... It's so nice to hope for something I know would eventually come true; forced or by nature.

These ramblings are making me dizzy.... Incoherent even.

I'm being ignored. And I remembered. I remembered.