<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d7247510412543276957\x26blogName\x3dEmbrace+the+sOjOurn\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://thesovereigngarden.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://thesovereigngarden.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-3060144441445346449', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>


Photobucket

Casino Spiele

My Tw|t Garden
Saturday, July 24, 2010

It brought us closer, but it has undeniably tortured my soul till today: answer to ur first thought.

Do u love me more or urself, since u forced me to say that one word I hate to say... U left me with nothing else to say except 活该 cos I felt abandoned, misunderstood. I didn't ask u to leave. Only beg u to visit the hospital as little as u possibly can, if u feel even the least bit of more love to me than urself; u would understand my agony and fear of u bumping into her, rather than thinking that I stifle and restrict u. Answer to ur second thought.

If u loved me more than urself, u'd leave even without me saying anything. If u loved me more than urself, u'd never had felt restricted. U'd have felt pain and sorrow for my insecure soul.

I never doubted the fact that I love u more. Ever. Because if I had loved myself more... I'd have left u two years ago. I hung on... Not because of Isaac or that I had no one else... I hung on because I worried u can't continue life alone. I worried no one would be there to dress ur wounded soul. But in the midst of it all, my tortured soul continues to be hit over and over again.

U will never understand. I've realized today. Never. Because u were never hurt the way I was. Like a man I used to like once told me... U'll never know the pain of betrayal until u get betrayed.

My wound is infested with maggots.

My heart shattered to millions of pieces.

My body is cold and bruised.

And I'm still trying to love u.

Do u even appreciate that?

No. Because in the end, I am still stifling u, still restricting u, still causing u to sacrifice all that u deem important. I'm tired, but I won't give up. Because I had never given up anything my entire life. I will follow this marriage thru like a real warrior should; sans my sanity.