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Sunday, April 18, 2010
Weekend was almost perfect. Until this afternoon... Why did I have to feel that way?
But if it were the other way around, I would've be more worried than reprimanding... I would've told him to be more careful cos I won't wanna lose him... I would've... But it's just me, not him. Things I would like him to do unto me might not eat well with him... And so the story goes.
This vicious cycle keeps reenacting over and over again. He scolds me, I get tender and sensitive, I start to hole up, he pesters me for a reason, I tell him, he gets upset that he never does things right, he holes up, I end up crying.
Like I said a million time, I'm different now. I'll never be normal ever. I'm broken, do you want this broken piece of crap? I may be testing your patience all the time for the rest of your life, are you up for it?
If not, please end it here. Don't give me false hopes that I'll have you to help me get through life unscathed.
I'm so tired of being broken. I hate to be crying at nothing.
I hate to be acting all okay and happy in front of people...
I'd rather be in a cold, dark room alone, where the darkness wouldn't laugh at my failure.
I'm broken. Very broken.
But if it were the other way around, I would've be more worried than reprimanding... I would've told him to be more careful cos I won't wanna lose him... I would've... But it's just me, not him. Things I would like him to do unto me might not eat well with him... And so the story goes.
This vicious cycle keeps reenacting over and over again. He scolds me, I get tender and sensitive, I start to hole up, he pesters me for a reason, I tell him, he gets upset that he never does things right, he holes up, I end up crying.
Like I said a million time, I'm different now. I'll never be normal ever. I'm broken, do you want this broken piece of crap? I may be testing your patience all the time for the rest of your life, are you up for it?
If not, please end it here. Don't give me false hopes that I'll have you to help me get through life unscathed.
I'm so tired of being broken. I hate to be crying at nothing.
I hate to be acting all okay and happy in front of people...
I'd rather be in a cold, dark room alone, where the darkness wouldn't laugh at my failure.
I'm broken. Very broken.