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My Tw|t Garden
Thursday, March 11, 2010

Had a very vivid nightmare last night. Was surprised I didn't wake up crying; I was weeping like a baby in my nightmare...



Everytime I hear news of another victim of infidelity, I get this nightmare. It's somewhat, almost always the same... slight variations to the location and people involved, but always end up with me watching them do some stuff together.



Doesn't have to be celebrities... friends, friends of friends, acquaintances, even strangers talking... I feel sad for these women. I just don't understand why these thing happen... do the men involve have any inkling how badly it'll affect their legally-bound spouses? Do the bitches have any heart at all?



And these extra people judging and making comments... sigh. Yes, the mouth is yours and you have your right to make a stand/ take a side/ do whatever.



But please DO do understand that when a marriage goes stale, and the man gets bored... the woman has the right to be informed of this bordom. And if she is unable to/ refuses to relief the bordom, then, is she considered the maker of her own doom.



Fact is... no man would let his woman know of this bordom. It's just an excuse for him to OUTSOURCE love and affection; which many bitches out there are ever willing to give.



Could the wife see it coming? Definitely not. Then how else is it her fault?



If I had been told that I've neglected him and he needed my attention and time... I'd have been willing to make time for him... instead... I was given four walls to stare at everyday while he outsourced happiness. No explanation... except that he needed a life and wanted his freedom.



No, he said, you are doing a great job as a mother to Isaac. We're fine, just talk less to me please, and don't sleep with me in the same bed for a year, please, cos I cannot stand you lying next to me, it makes me miss her more.



Okay, so he didn't SAY those things, he just made it quite clear by his non-verbal cues...



Sigh, the old memories are flooding my brain matter, and I seriously need a break from all the Jack Neo reports.



I've been eating non stop today. Snacks, biscuits, soft drinks, cookies, cakes, pancakes, cereals, nuts, bread, rice... I'm almost exploding already, yet I still feel like stuffing myself silly.



I know its this stupid Jack Neo thing that's bothering me... I know because it reminds me... when I saw Mrs Neo cry and fainted on national TV... I was choked with emotions. I remembered how I felt the world collapsed the very minute revelation was effected. I remembered how badly my heart shrunk for a good two minutes... I think I was blue for that short span, didn't remember breathing...



I remembered... feeling disgusted and irksome... feeling despair and anger all at once.



I remembered his stupid smiling face telling me that it was a misunderstanding.



I remembered him telling me a bunch of lies that he later confessed to.



God, it all seems like it was yesterday....



Mrs Neo, are you sure you cannot live without Jack? Because in love, you need not suffer... because... a serial cheater is a serial cheater... only you know for yourself if he really is... you deserve to be happy... if you think he's not, then go ahead, stand by him, because at the end of the day, the moments he enjoyed with the young and pretty women out there could never be compared to the steadfast love and support you are giving him now.



I hope he will cherish you from now on... I hope he truly sees his folly and your magnanimous love. I hope... sincerely hope... he'll never break your heart again.



It's so painful to be living through this nightmare again and again through other people's lives... when am I going to really learn that i'm okay? That he's okay?



I look weird with this litte appendage on my abdomen... Sigh... must not do this too often, lest it becomes permanent...



SOrry... needed the digression to break out of my super low mood...



Wendy Chong, go have sex with someone your own age and stop pestering this poor family.