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Casino Spiele

My Tw|t Garden
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Another day of remembrance

And so life goes on...

I'm troubled. Cos the world is so small; singapore is even smaller... How not to bump into people who remind me of bad things?

I told him today that I can't let go... I can't bring myself to remove the pain that comes with the memory. And I'm reminded by something everyday...

Maybe there will come a day when I'll be truly released from the pain... But for now, I'm sort of contented to have the same man who had inflicted the pain lick my wound.

I'm just tired. Of feeling inadequate and ugly. Of feeling betrayed and shortchanged. I need happy things to be around me all the time, so I won't plunge back into the deep deep abyss...

I know I've gone through this motion a zillion times... But seriously... Who cares?

People are hAving their loved ones dying on them, facing multiple problems even more hardy than mine... Who cares how I manage my road to recovery?

They're just interested in the juicy details which everyone hopes to get their ears on... Even though I'm no celebrity... Infidelity is an all time favorite gossip pasttime. Look at what happened to the Jack and Tiger sagas... You think people are genuinely concerned? The one thing that truly matters when this sort of thing happens never fails to be neglected... How to move on from there?

I've got a friend who shared that she have no clue... I seemed well... But not quite. I've seen women who had been through the same things and they look wonderfully blissful... Is this something that will ultimately occur? Or are these women still facing some sort of random relapses of pain and torture?

Is this permanent? This torture?

Two years have passed... I can gladly say that I've a better mind and body... However much scarring has made them stiff... And sometimes the throbbing pain seems more painful than the original wound...

Is this supposed to be so?

Ive got so many questions... But no answers. Perhaps one day, I'll find out and write about it. Then I'll let all the ladies out there who wanna ask the same questions know the answers without waiting agonizingly for them.

I'll write a book... And dedicate it to all the long-suffering women who made it through infidelity and came out stronger, more beautiful and happier. I wanna make sure no one; absolutely no one, would suffer in silence over the shame and guilt that aren't supposed to be.

I want to let women know, that love is not about finding fault; but about finding gratitude.

Now sponsors anyone?