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Thursday, February 18, 2010
Of work and the ghost of yesteryears
I'm so going to wear my Korean branded big eye contact lens 24-7!
People can actually tell the difference when I turn up for work without them... I guess the difference is... U.G.L.Y. without them... Anyways, the new job is great, or had I already said that before? Lots of new stuffs to learn, and as usual, I'm always keen to learn. This time, its more than nursing work, its management, procurement, business and marketing all clumped into one shell. Chris has been especially helpful; giving tips on certain details I would have left out (by thinking like a woman). I do agree that sometimes, men have eyes for details that women fail to notice. (Now who says men are 'coarse-hearted'?) Did I mention he's great at budgeting and cost-containing? Oh he gives excellent advice on those! Sometimes, I wished he's in on this with me... the stuff I do there is awesome, totally radical. New friends to make, new life, new environment. If I say that this is a chance God gave me to reboot, then grab the chance I must! (I'm beginning to sound like obi one kenobi...) Thing is... its been more than two years and I still bear the grudge and hatred so much, so much that I can't seem to let go. Sometimes I wonder if I consciously cling on to this hatred so I can continue to indulge in this 'victim' mode of life. I wonder if all the women who have been through stuffs like this actually fully recover from it. If they do... how long did they take? I wish someone would give me an answer to this question... But I'm certain that this topic is not something women would feel like sharing... especially if they've been through it. All I know is, these women look like they live a fulfilling life thereafter... is it really the case in their hearts? Am I abnormal to still be affected by women who look like her/ dress like her/ talk like her? Am I crazy to still cry at the fact that I was the moron who 'didn't know better'? How can I reciprocate the efforts that my man is putting in to make amends? So many questions... so little answers... Sigh. Work is the only thing that keeps my mind off of these nitty gritty petty issues. And I'm so indulging in it. |