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Monday, February 22, 2010
Chris is so not suppose to read this.
Someone please tell my husband why I really need a helper...
So he can spend more time doting on me instead of doing housework and making me feel guilty because of that.
I know he doesn't mind, but I keep having this phobia... cos he used to do all the housework and... sigh. I really really need to contribute. And I've started, I guess if I didn't stop to rest I wouldn't feel so tired when I come home; thus the ability to clear some household chores (and child rearing responsibilities).
I know he'll never understand my need to contribute. Just like I'll never understand what made him do certain things before. I just hope I'll have the energy to keep up.
Really don't wanna rely too much on my parents either. Been independent my whole life, its darn crappy to realize that its only now that I have to depend on my parents to help manage my kids while I date my husband, rest and relax, or enjoy an afternoon of self pampering. My old folks are equally tired come weekend... I've no right to let them; even though they're offering help.
Finally... I guess it all boils down to time management.
And tiring myself out with the mundane essentials.
Someone please tell him I'm at my wits end.
So he can spend more time doting on me instead of doing housework and making me feel guilty because of that.
I know he doesn't mind, but I keep having this phobia... cos he used to do all the housework and... sigh. I really really need to contribute. And I've started, I guess if I didn't stop to rest I wouldn't feel so tired when I come home; thus the ability to clear some household chores (and child rearing responsibilities).
I know he'll never understand my need to contribute. Just like I'll never understand what made him do certain things before. I just hope I'll have the energy to keep up.
Really don't wanna rely too much on my parents either. Been independent my whole life, its darn crappy to realize that its only now that I have to depend on my parents to help manage my kids while I date my husband, rest and relax, or enjoy an afternoon of self pampering. My old folks are equally tired come weekend... I've no right to let them; even though they're offering help.
Finally... I guess it all boils down to time management.
And tiring myself out with the mundane essentials.
Someone please tell him I'm at my wits end.