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Casino Spiele

My Tw|t Garden
Saturday, January 2, 2010
read this before I re-categorize its privacy mode!

The reason for my lack of posts here... is because I wrote on my private one instead.

Lots of crap happened, and I'm baffled by my inner turmoil. Perhaps its the festive season. Perhaps, I'm just not doing enough to control the madness within.

Some days I wonder, if I would get more delirious and start logging crazy thoughts in this cyber journal.. other times, I reckon I'd be strong enough for this kinda crap.

It was like cold turkey everytime he was nice to me. I get the adrenaline high, then I fall deep into the gutter when reality struck. The reality that I have to deal with every single day... that I'm not good enough.

What if one day, she decides to rekindle the spark they created? What would happen to the woman who got back her love only because she so 'kindly' let me have him?

I don't know if I should write more. Perhaps all these should be in the private blog. But I've gotta type something here. Too much going on in the other side. Too many crazy 'what ifs', and 'whys'.

It's the festive season. And I couldn't feel more alone.

Even with family and friends around me.

Crap, big time.