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Monday, December 14, 2009
Driven to desperation
I hope this doesn't happen again.
Because I doubt I can tolerate it any further than today.
My mother told me... never compromise your children's safety, I did and I regret not doing anything to prevent you from getting hurt by your father.
And I am compromising their safety now.
Unless some miracle happens, or he takes better mood control, or the highway I'll go.
I can't do this anymore. Pretending its okay when I'm all trembling inside. I want to be there for him. I will.
If only there is more control. The anger demon is not something that'd go away instantaneously, that's why he has got to walk away.
God, I know this is yet another bump on the road I have to take, please let me have enough faith and patience to see it through.
Because I doubt I can tolerate it any further than today.
My mother told me... never compromise your children's safety, I did and I regret not doing anything to prevent you from getting hurt by your father.
And I am compromising their safety now.
Unless some miracle happens, or he takes better mood control, or the highway I'll go.
I can't do this anymore. Pretending its okay when I'm all trembling inside. I want to be there for him. I will.
If only there is more control. The anger demon is not something that'd go away instantaneously, that's why he has got to walk away.
God, I know this is yet another bump on the road I have to take, please let me have enough faith and patience to see it through.