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Casino Spiele

My Tw|t Garden
Monday, November 2, 2009
Good ol' fun and More

The weekend had been great fun.

We went shopping at Sun Tec City (again!!!); we had our favorite fast food Carl's Junior, bought a cheese cake...

... and I bought a swim suit. The design is a mix of bikini and normal swim wear, if you see my back, it looks totally like I'm wearing a bikini. If you look at the front view, there's actually this extra fabric that runs down from the breast to the nether region - thus covering my stretch marks on my tummy. This is the best ever design anyone can come up with. I look like a million dollars wearing it!

We've been going to the swimming pool very frequently and its been bothering me that I haven't got a decent swim wear - either reveals my stretch marks (bikini) or too dowdy (auntie swimwear). Not that I can enter the pool - yet. Cos I need to take care of the little one, so only Chris and Isaac are having fun frolicking in the water. In time to come - I can make a grand entrance with my new swim wear; which I'm dying to use!!

Then yesterday, we spent a quiet Sunday relaxing at home, and I gave Chris a nice full body massage - which lasted like ten minutes cos Ian was fretful all morning. At least the massage covered his important body areas - not the IMPORTANT ones but his problem areas like neck and lower back. It actually was supposed to be an hour long thing - too bad Ian didn't like the idea of Daddy enjoying his little retreat, hahah.

I'm so guilty of saying, and thinking about this, but I always look forward to weekends - cos Isaac would be with my parents and I could finally rest and enjoy my couple time with Chris - in 'half-peace'. 'Half' because Ian's still around and sometimes he gets in the way - but with Isaac around - there is not one moment of peace. I'd be busy with Isaac and Chris, with Ian.

Sometimes, I feel like having an extra helping hand - a domestic helper or a relative to help out - its way too stressful having to handle one 100%-attention-seeking-three-year-old and a 100%-need-you-to-do-everything-for-me-two-month-old all in one day, 24/7.

Then I thought about living with another person; the conflict, privacy issues, awkwardness... sigh, nothing is perfect.

How nice if someone would just drop by, attend to both kids for the night while they sleep so Chris and I can really go dating without having either of the kids in tow.

If only I had understood the concept of couple time and the importance of it when we had Isaac three years ago. Then I wouldn't have neglected him and bad things wouldn't have happened. It's funny how this bad thing keeps coming to my mind the past weeks, though I really do make an effort to look forward instead of backwards. Something is telling me I'm not right in the head again.

Oh God. I seriously need some strength and help in this.

Chris has been wonderful, though, doing nice little thoughtful stuffs that make me happy and contented.

I cannot ask for more.

It's very nice to have someone you love root for you when your mood is bonkers.

I hope Mummy and Daddy would too. They simply have problems too deep-seated in their hearts. I wish they would see past their old mistakes and support each other in old age. It really very sad to not speak to the one you love just because you can't get pass your dignity and pride. My children can't solve their problems, they only create a topic for them to interact, but the real problem still lies, waiting to gnaw at them when the kids return home with me.

But then again... Dad is really a stubborn old mule, and Mum, she's not very strong mentally for this sort of perseverance. Imagine Chris and I almost giving it all up many times... it would have been harder for Mum. And Dad.

We don't wanna be like them when we're old; Chris and I, so we promised each other we'd talk things out regardless how difficult it would be to voice our opinions sometimes. Love and marriage takes a lot of effort, and we're committed to make it work.

In five years' time, I'd be sitting with Chris at the beach, laughing at the kids making ugly sandcastles and thinking how silly it was to keep harping on the bad thing that had happened.

All because we try - very hard.